Monday, August 9, 2010

Listen Up Boys...

Hate: Spit. Spit is so disgusting that I actually have a physical gagging reaction when someone spits near me, is speaking and it sounds like they have a lot of spit in their mouth, or i can see that little bit of spit on the corners of their mouths.  Spitting is never ok unless you are totally alone, and if you find that for some reason while you talk a lot of spit accumulates in your mouth then...well firstly never EVER approach me and secondly get that ish under control because no one wants to hear your spit fighting its way out of your mouth with every word.  Also, there is nothing that makes me want to puke more than the sound of someone "hawking a loogie."  By the by, I just googled that term to see how I might spell it and I gagged the entire time I scrolled down.  Admittedly, there are times when you just have to spit and there is no way of doing it privately.  Even though I understand that it does happen, it's still unacceptable and if I'm there I'm still going to express my disapproval.  So don't get all pissy like "I can't help it," because I don't give a shit.  I even think its disgusting when I spit.  This hate has even spurred a phobia of sending food back at restaurants for fear that the new food will have spit in it, which is sometimes sad and leaves me hungry.

Now that I am sufficiently repulsed...Love!

Love: Steins. I don't care that I can't drink beer, I love steins.  After buying my first wonderful stein, RIP Ludwig, at Buckley flea market in Michigan, I have decided that this is my favorite vessel for intoxication.  I don't know why it makes drinking so much more fun, but it definitely does.  So, obviously I named all of my steins beginning with  Ludwig, then Heinz whose life was pretty short lived because he broke, and my current jewel Pieterszoon, named after my Dutch pirate ancestor because he has ships on him. I'll show you the joy brought to us by steins in a poorly made photo essay...

 


Aw, look how much fun we're having together.  And that is why I love steins.  Did I mention they keep spit out of your drink?

Love,
theGrump

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