Thursday, August 26, 2010

Don't Make Me Ask if You Were Raised in a Barn! whore.

Farting around in Arizona, thought I'd hate on something for a min...

Hate: Loud chewing.  Usually associated with chewing with your mouth open.  GAH CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.  How big are your teeth that you can't open and close them with your lips closed?  When eating a banana you make a gross noise even with your mouth closed, but when you chew with your mouth open while eating anything else it pretty much always sounds like eating a banana.  Not cool.  I do not want to see or hear that.  I will be that annoying grandma figure that tells you to close your mouth if you are near me.  Or else I will just hate you silently until it I explode with disgust and kill you.
-Oh my god I was so grumpy earlier that I forgot a huge part of this hate!!  Let me just get it out there quickly...you cannot breathe out of your mouth and chew at the same time.  This is what your nose is for.  You don't breathe out of your mouth for the rest of your day, and it should be the same when you're eating.    More so because your mouth is already full of something and it should follow logically that nothing else...even air...should be in there.  The WORST noise.   Everyone hates you.

I'm too grumpy to love.

1 comment:

  1. the worst are books that spell out sounds/noises. i discovered this when i was at FAO Schwartz in NY and was looking at children's books. "whoosh whoosh go the leaves! ruff ruff goes the dog!"
    stfu says i.

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