Hate: Hugging. I am not a big toucher. I have a bubble people, get the shit out of it. Hugs are always the worst because they are always SO awkward, although there can be many different reasons for this. First things first, I do not like to be touched. Hugging involves lots of touching. Don't like. Second point of hatred, I probably don't like you all that much. You know what's worse than being touched? Being touched by someone I don't like. This is the more awkward hug because clearly the person hugging me (note: hugging me, since I do not want to be involved) has lower standards of hugworthiness than I do. They probably like me more than I like them and therefore think the hug is appropriate, I on the other hand am dying on the inside. Not ok. Moving on to one armed hugs. THE WORST. If the situation does not call for at least a two armed hug, LEAVE IT. High five (my preferred alternative), do a pound/explode, shake hands, ANYTHING to avoid the one armed hug. It is never appropriate in any situation. Don't you dare one arm hug me. The last thing I have to say about hugs is that they are NOT an appropriate hello/goodbye just any ol' time. If you are hanging out with a bunch of people that you see even semi regularly, you do not need to hug them all when you see them or when you leave. A collective HI! and BYE! will do. You are taking too long in your salutations and there is NO NEED for the touching. There are a select few who I am ok with hugging, even enjoy the hug. They know who they are. No, not you. And now I'll finish off with some wise words from Arrested Development...No touching.
Love: This commercial for Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvHj0vovQHI
You're all awesome,
theGrump
No comments:
Post a Comment