Writing Utensils

I've had to sign things and write on official papers and whatnot lately, so I've decided to dedicate this entry to writing utensils.

Hate: Pens.  Writing with pens is the worst.  I don't know what happens in my brain when I put a pen in my hand, but apparently I can't handle it and my handwriting looks ridiculous.  My signature is absolutely stupid because you always have to sign in pen and I just can't do it.  The people who look at it probably think I have some sort of motor disorder.  Also, half of the time I can't even get any ink to come out because I don't write hard enough, so it's a mixture of my brain malfunctioning because I'm holding a pen and me pressing down as hard as I can that make me look like an idiot.  When someone gives me something I have to sign that has the carbon copies below it I get so mad.  Unless I am consciously really trying, I can't get my handwriting to penetrate the first sheet.  I really don't need writing my name to be such an event.  On that note, writing anything does not need to be such an event.  Just give me my...

Love: Mechanical pencils.  These are clearly the superior writing utensil.  You can erase and it fits so nicely in your hand, and you don't have to sharpen it, and if you run out of lead, which never happens anyway, you can just fill 'er up.

Love,
theGrump