Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sweepy

I wrote a whole effing blog and it got deleted and now I'm even MORE grumpy.  BAHH.

Hate:  Getting hit on.  Not getting hit on as in a normal conversation where it is mutually understood that the person is hitting on you, but the kind where the guy comes on WAY too strong and is just spewing retarded compliments and bad pick up lines.  This would be a few sentences strung together that may include (but are not limited to) one or more of the following words or phrases: fine, sexy, damn girl, hottie, mmmmm, any dumb pick up line used in a serious manner, etc.  Listen up, if you think you are attractive to a girl after giving her that bullshit, think again.  We do not want to hear it.  At least I do not want to hear it and I can't imagine someone else finding it at all enjoyable and that's all that matters for the sake of my blog.  For me, this is more like sexual harassment than a come on.  It's synonymous to guys cat calling when a girl walks by.  I mean honestly, have they EVER gotten a positive reaction??  Whyyy do they keep doing it??!?!  Not only are these guys are usually the guys that can't get a hint, I know I'm not the first or last girl of the night you've attempted to pick up and I am not in the least interested, but even more these are the guys that clearly are incapable of learning from past mistakes, aka obviously this strategy has not been working.  Not to call you out or anything boys, but I can think of a few mental disorders that have these symptoms.  In conclusion, keep your horniness to yourself.  It is not cute.

Love: Penguins.  This is big because, generally, birds are a hate of mine.  But penguins just have that natural charm.  What can I say?  I love the waddle.  They are far too cute and hilarious for their terrible weather conditions.  But I guess if they weren't there they wouldn't be so fat and adorable.  There are so many different kinds too and all are too cute.  I want a pet penguin like that guy in Japan, and it's going to wear a backpack and waddle along with me wherever I go.

Peace,
theGrump

Monday, September 27, 2010

Smelly Cat

Hate: Abercrombie's stench.  You don't even have to go into an Abercrombie and Fitch to be subjected to it's horrific odor.  You only have to be within an approximately 1 mile radius of a store.  I literally am on the verge of gagging just walking by, even if I'm across the street.  I don't understand how there are living people inside.  How could they not have immediately suffocated upon entry?  How or why that smell is so strong is a mystery.  I can't believe that they don't know that it's the WORST.  I bet if they looked closely, there would be a hole in the ozone above every Abercrombie. This is a matter of public and environmental safety.  It must be stopped.

Love: DJ Lance Rock, aka the host of Yo Gabba Gabba.  I love everything about him, from his furry marching band hat to his spandex onesie to his awesome dance moves.

Ahhh, the best.  Everyone should watch Yo Gabba Gabba.

Love,
theGrump

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Dummies

Hate: When people intentionally use bad grammar.  I do not understand the appeal of sounding stupid or it's intended message.  It is so dumb.  I know that I end sentences in prepositions all the time and whatnot, but one: I don't care and two: it's not the same because I'm not intentionally doing it to...I don't even know what!  Sound cool??  That is retarded.  I may hate that mentality more than anything (except maybe fat people with skinny legs). Why would you go out of your way to say things wrong?  I know you know it is wrong and I HATE you for it.

Love: Mini anything.  Meaning anything that is smaller than normal size.  Ideally this object will fit into my cupped hands.  Almost always better than normal sized things.  THE cutest.

Love,
theGrumpp

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Spice Up Your Life

Oh, time to hate again?  Good.

Hate: When the volume of the TV (and other electronic devices) is on the wrong volume number.  The right numbers clearly being multiples of 5.  I have a thing about numbers, kind of like the time thing.  I can't explain it but I have a few number things and this is one of them.  It makes me anxious, I reeeally don't like it.  In school when we used to watch things in class I learned to not look when the teacher messed with the volume because I knew they wouldn't do it right.  I also realize that this may not always be the most practical thing, so I have learned to deal with other numbers, some of them by finding patterns that I like and some just because I decided they're ok.  Some of these are 8, because its a cube, 11 because it's my fav number, 12, because of a long complicated thing involving 2, 3, 4 and 6 that I enjoy, 16 because it has a fourth root, and so on.  I think my crazy is showing.

Love: Lists.  Hence the hate list.  I cannot get through my day without making at least one list.  Doesn't everyone just feel more accomplished when they can cross things off a list?  It's the only way I can self motivate.

Love,
theGrump

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A Dog Named Farfle

It's still the 21st in Seattle

Hate: Dogs that don't like to be pet.  What am I supposed to do with that??  I don't need you to hunt or be my guide dog, so what is your use if I cannot pet you?  I need to pet.  You are cute and I want to pet you and you to wag your tail.  I mean I still love it because it's a dog and I'm obsessed, but I hate it as a...person?  Usually since I love the dog so much just because it's a dog, I really just hate the owner for making their dog suck so much.

Love: VH1 reality TV.  Amazing.

Weak, but I just don't care,
theGrump

Monday, September 20, 2010

If You're Down, Then Get Down

So I just watched an episode of 30 Rock so I'm not the grumpiest right now, but we'll see where this goes.

Hate: Being late.  I am the most prompt person you know.  I cannot handle being late, it is the MOST stressful.  I can barely handle being just on time.  I can't even handle when other people are late to something that doesn't involve me in any way.  But, the true hatred lies in other people making me late.  Good god, if you make me late there will be issues.  SO rude!  How could you be so inconsiderate of my obsession with being on time.  When we set a time, that is the time.  Otherwise what is the point of setting that time, why didn't we make it later if you were going to be goddamn late.  I will be ready early, I understand you don't have to be , but you better fucking be ready at the moment that time comes because THAT WAS THE AGREEMENT.  I do hate tardiness, but I somehow think am physically incapable of being late (as long as it isn't your fault).  It just will not happen.  Once I woke up at 7:52 when I had an 8 AM lab on a different campus and I still made it.  It just seemed like it should not have been able to happen, I was so confused when I walked in and it was still 8 o'clock.  The time space continuum apparently doesn't apply to me if there is a chance I might be late.  This isn't always a good thing.  There have even been times when I have tried to be late for something informal because I thought to myself "No one else is going to show up forEVER, just be like 15 minutes late."  This specific time I ended up getting there one minute late.  Not even a minute late, when I looked at the time when I got there it was just turning to 8:01 so I was really only like 55 seconds late.  And I tried so hard!  As I mentioned, I even feel the stress when someone else is/is going to be late.  My old roommates were...one might say not quite as timely as I was, and I never understood why they weren't freaking out like me.  Do other people not feel this stress?  I'm freaking out right now thinking about it.

Love: Being scared.  It is the best feeling.  The problem is I get scared really easily and I will stay scared for a very long time.  I remember I was terrified for weeks after seeing "The Ring."  But somehow I still love the feeling.  I mean even dumb shows like Paranormal State and occasionally A Haunting (a HILARIOUS show btw) scare me and so I love to watch.  For the record I have screamed on 2 separate occasions while watching a haunting.  Yep.  So even though I love the rush of being scared...I may sleep with my lights on for a few nights afterwards...

<3
theGrump

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Telephone.

Hate: Talking on the phone.  I haate it.  I'm just bad at it, and I don't like to be bad at things.  Also it's always so awkward.  Maybe my being bad at it makes it awkward, but regardless, so uncomfortable.  I never have enough things to say and there are always long pauses where I just want to hang myself.  The worst is when the other person also sucks at talking on the phone and we literally cannot hang up because neither one of us knows how to say bye.  God, it's terrible.  I always end up interrupting a long awkward pause pretty much yelling OK WELL BYE.  Most of what I need to say to you can be written in a one or two sentence text, I don't need all this dialing, ringing, talking business.  When people call me I never answer because I just don't want to.  Don't like.  On more than one occasion I have deliberately not answered a phone call because I hate them and then immediately texted the person right after asking what they want.  And obviously when I call someone I'm not going to leave a voicemail because I hate them, which brings me to another problem because I hate when people don't answer my call.  I know this is hypocritical because I never answer my phone, but it's like I'm probably only calling you because you initiated some sort of situation where I have to, and if you don't answer it pisses me off.  I spend time getting over the initial anger that I have to call you and you don't answer, you're a fucking bastard.

Which brings me to the love of the day...

Love: Texting.  The best form of communication.  There are so many times in my day where something weird or funny or terrible happens and I have no one with me to immediately share it with, so I can just text someone...or everyone.  For example, yesterday after a night of me being WAY too drunk, I woke up and looked at my outgoing calls and noticed that 911 had been dialed.  And I was like oh...whoooooops.  So I texted a few people informing them because I thought it was pretty hilarious, and I texted my roommate, hoping she would know what happened and if I did it on purpose, haha.  Also, I never get annoyed with texting because they don't have to answer immediately, or ever really, because it's just a text.  There is one small texting problem but it just comes from my own ocd, not the texting process.  I really dislike having texts in my sent/received box so I have to immediately delete them right after I send/read them.  This causes two problems, 1. sometimes people answer me, but it's been a little while and I forgot what I said to them which is a little awkward, and 2. I tend to keep up this habit during a night of drinking so I have no way of recalling the drunken texts I sent out in the morning.

So from this post you have learned not to call me, and also I'm minorly an alcoholic.  Good.

LOVE,
theGrump

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Straight Clubbin

So this was decided last night whilst out on the town.

Hate: Going dancing.  Actually, I rather enjoy going dancing with my friends.  What I really hate is the boys one comes across when dancing.  That may make me sound like a big lesbian, but I just want to dance with girls.  No offense dudes, but almost all guys have no rhythm.  It's sad because the way people dance these days, you pretty much have to do nothing except sway.  It's not so difficult.  Seriously, you don't even have to move your appendages at all.  Bad dancing aside, dancing is juuust awkward.  Do guys really think I want a stranger to suddenly dry hump me in a dark sweaty club?  Nope...no I do not.  I should turn around and mace your ass.  Well not your ass.  Your face...specifically your eyeballs.  What ever happened to the good ol' twist.  Maybe a little jive.  If it's just me, so be it.  But I'm throwing it out there anyway.

Love: 30 Rock.  Tina Fey is a genius.  So now I will just write a string of awesome quotes.  I'm buying all the hot dogs.  Live every week like it's shark week.  Lemon out.  (Windmill highfive).  As my good friend, and fellow foxhunter, Mary J Blige once said, "No more drama."  Keep your friends close, and your enemies so close you're almost kissing.  Where are the fries I did not ask for?  You need to anticipate me!  Did he just say the word pumpkin to me?  My muffin top is all that, whole grain low fat.  Spooky, scary werewolf bar mitzvah.  It's like an owl without a graduation cap, heartbreaking.  You know what I always say...BLACK LIGHT ATTACK.  Nerds.  Just be normal sauce for like 5 minutes.  Ya burnt.  Well cotton and fiddles, I like your smile!  There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party cause a Liz Lemon party is MANDATORY.  Who are the biggest gossips on TGS? Grizz and Dot Com!!  I love it so much I'm gonna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant!  Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle.  Workin' on my night cheese.  Put the mimosa down, bitch!  She's a good actor, I bought those pajamaralls.  Do you want to yell at the moon with Buzz Aldrin?  Mmmm hugging...so ethnic.  I want to go to there.  Randy's GAY everyone.  He's gay.

That was such a tease.  I need to watch.

LOVE,
theGrump

Thursday, September 16, 2010

POPCORN CRAVING

Hate: Toe walkers.  You know.  Those people who practically skip around because they walk on the balls of their feet.  It's not ok.  Walk normally.  I don't understand, don't you see another human being and immediately think, "Oh, I'm doing this wrong.  No one else is walking like an idiot..."

Ehh, that's about as much hate as I can muster at the moment.  And it's hard to type with my dumb finger.

Love: Naming things.  I really appreciate a good name, probably because my name is so dumb.  Really.  It's for nuns.  I like everything to have a name and I like it to be a hilariously awesome name.  There are a few types of names that are preferable to others, one of which is a name of the same ethnicity of what I think that object would be if it were a person.  Another type of name that I approve of is a name that is a clever play on words.  For example a cat named cat benetar or chairman meow.  And lastly, I like names that are either a different animal or some random object, kind of like celebrity children.  My brother is very good at naming.  Props to JT.

LOVE,
theGrump

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Hate on Me

Who doesn't love a little self loathing?

Hate:  My UNBELIEVABLE accident prone-ness.  I wouldn't mind it so much if I hurt myself doing cool things, but I always hurt myself doing absolutely nothing.  I mean nothing.  In 2nd grade I broke all the toes on my right foot lining up for a field trip to the police station by my teachers desk falling on my foot.  Yep.  I tried to pretend like I was fine because I wanted to be able to collect all the cop cards (a DARE thing, don't ask).  The first time I broke my foot, I was WALKING to my next door neighbors house.  Since then I have broken it walking in the mall, watching an ultimate frisbee game (yes, watching), and in a soccer game AND an ultimate frisbee game (those are as exciting as it gets).  I broke 2 ribs falling out of bed my freshman year of college.   A bunch of other silly breaks, sprains and ER trips blah blah blah, and now I have been at my new place for 2 weeks to the day, and I have already broken my finger playing in a friendly game of goaltimate (a frisbee game) with my new team out here.  What. The. Fuck.  I must just have brittle bone syndrome.  Because if not this is just ridiculous.  Jesus, my body is not meant to do ANYTHING.

Love: Bonfires.  Both the smell and the event.  They are the perfect nighttime activity.  It's really amazing how the fire is so mesmerizing, because it's much less fun sitting in a circle doing nothing when the fire isn't there.  And don't even get me started on the smell.  I need to bottle it, or someone does at least, for realllll.  It is always the best to wake up and have your hair and clothes smell like one.  Nothing makes me more happy.  I won't wash my clothes until it would be disgusting not to do so after, I mean who would ever want to get rid of that stench?? Toooooooo goooooood.

<3
theGrump

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fake Lives

Hate: Laguna Beach and everyone and everything that has ever stemmed from it.  Shows based on it, everything.  It makes me a little sad, but more outrageously angry, that anyone could think that these people's lives are remotely real or entertaining and therefore worth a little bit of their time.  It is unbelievable that their ridiculous, fake drama filled lives are aired, and they subsequently get good things out of it.  People should throw rotten food at them in the streets after watching their show, not buy their fake line of clothing or whatever they're doing now.  If anything good has come from it at all, it would be clips of how retardedly stupid they all are on The Soup.  I can understand watching something that is supposed to be serious knowing that it's soo dumb that you just laugh, I mean hello Wife Swap, but this is another level.  Not remotely amusing.  In fact, painful and infuriating.  I pretty much hate all "celebs" of reality tv.  I like my life more than yours...I truthfully hate you.  GRRRRRRR.

I don't know what prompted this hate.  But I guess I'm really mad about it.

Love: Tiny lighters.  They are so cute.  Sometimes I wish I smoked so I could buy them when I'm at the store.  Eeeee the cutestttt.

theGrump

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Computers and That Ish

Hate: Technology.  It freaks me out.  I don't get it and I don't like it.  Computers are going to take over the world and I don't want to be a part of it.  This is going to be some Matrix shit.  I especially hate "smart" phones.  Do you really need to have the world wide web at your fingertips at all times?  God it annoys me.  I feel like it's making people soo stupid and not at all smart. Everyone depends on the internet for everything and no longer know how to interact with real human beings.  If it were up to me we'd all be amish.

Love: America's Funniest Home Videos, or as my roommate and I so affectionately call it, afv.  The best show.  Even though the funniest video never wins the grand prize, I still love it.  And here for your amusement is my all time favorite afv video, I very legitimately almost peed my pants when I saw this video.  Some people I show it to don't think it's as funny as me, but I think in order to really get the whole experience, you have to think to yourself "What is going through this llamas head right now?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c2AwVaD4j8

Now I'm done with this, excuse me while I go churn some butter,
theGrump

Friday, September 10, 2010

Werk it Out

Hate: People who work out in non-workout clothing.  It puts me in a terrible mood when someone runs by in jean shorts.  Not a terrible mood really, I just hate that person severely.  It may be even worse when someone is at the gym in inappropriate attire.  You took the time to join the gym and subsequently go to the gym, you would think you would have at least one sporty outfit you could wear there.  In fact, I know you have one.  So put it on.  And if you're in a hurry, the gym has a locker room.  Utilize that shit.

Love: Rev Run.  God, he is amazing and his show is amazing.  Keep representin the Jerz.

Love ya,
theGrump

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Yet Another Bathroom Hate

I have a lot of bathroom rules apparently...
Hate: When people put soap on their hands before getting them wet when they wash their hands.  Wrong.  Number one, that feels disgusting.  Why would a person do that when you could so easily get your hands wet first?  Number two, the soap isn't going to lather if there is no water involved, so way to go with that.  And just in case you need a number three, the signs in the bathrooms that tell you how to wash your hands all say to get your hands wet first.  FOLLOW DIRECTIONS!!  You are doing it wrong and it is bothering me.  A lot of things bother me in the bathroom without you being an idiot, so do it right.  Just in case you think I'm wrong, I have no problem giving you a few examples:
http://www.dubuque.k12.ia.us/Prescott/Handwash/
http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/Information/item/Fight+Germs,+Wash+Your+Hands?archiveChannel=Home%2FArticle&clicked=true
http://www.inspq.qc.ca/pdf/publications/586-Affichette-TechniqueLavageDesMains-En.pdf
http://www.ehow.com/video_12779_wash-hands.html
I think you get the point.  Also some of these are pretty hilarious.  The last one is a movie.

Love: Crossword puzzles.  They make you smart and they're fun.  How could it get better?  We went to a new coffee shop today and there was a communal crossword and it made me so happy.  I need to start buying the newspaper.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Fundamentals

So I'm in the coffee shop for my daily internet binge and, TMI, but I just peed and it reminded me of this hate.

Hate:  When the toilet paper is the wrong way.  If for some reason you don't know which way is the wrong way...UNDERHAND IS CLEARLY THE WRONG WAY.  Even though I don't see how there can be a debate about it, when those commercials came out recently I was actually happy to see that I was not the only person in the universe that cared about this.  I will actually change the direction of the toilet paper if it isn't right.  I don't care if I'm in someone else's house or in a public place or whatever.  I do not want to pull that tp off the roll unless it's overhand.  The only times where I will do it are the times in public places where I physically cannot change it to overhand unless I've brought my own screwdriver or lock picking kit.  Unfortunately, I have never had these things handy when needed.  Also, if I'm in someone's house I do not care if they prefer underhand.  In my mind, it's not a preference, that is just the way it must be.  Over.  So get over it.

Love: Forks.  Not spoons or knives.  Just forks.  Don't get me wrong, I don't hate spoons and knives, I just love forks.  I don't have a very good reason for this, I can't explain my love, but I eat anything I can with a fork, even things that other...normal...people might eat with a spoon.  Ice cream, yogurt (on those rare occasions I eat yogurt), I don't know, I can't think of many examples, but you get the idea, I love my forks.

LOVE,
theGrump

PS, Tucker is the first of my unnecessary voicemail side hates.  Left me a voicemail at 7 AM.  I saw you called.  I even woke up when you called.  But I'm not going to answer my fucking phone at 7 AM, I'll call you when I wake up.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Theater

So you may not have heard about this hate, but this is my blog so I don't care.  I can do whatever the fuck I want.

Hate: The episode 5-9 of House.  I love House, both the show and the character.  People hate on it because it's "the same episode over and over."  So the fuck what?  Pretty much every tv show is like that so get the crap over it.  Anyway, on to hating.  Cuddy is THE WORST character of the show...of ANY show (except maybe Deb from Dexter).  It is appalling that they would dedicate an hour of television to her.  And I, like a fool, watched the entire episode thinking there would be something more than just the run down of Cuddy's day to day.  Nope.  TERRIBLE!  That aside, no one is even sick.  Like maybe if there was some suspense about someone about to die, or better yet dying because of something Cuddy did that was idiotic because she is always wrong about everything it could have been at least watchable.  GOD I was so pissed after that episode ended.  The only reason they tried to make House like her was because they felt bad for what an moron Cuddy's character is, and they were like well, maybe people will like her if House does.  No.  Hate.

Love:  Newsies.  My favorite movie of all time.  I could watch it day and night and sing and watch Christian Bale have a terrible New York accent and him and his little buddies dance their little hearts out forever and ever.  So, so amazing.  Upsetting fact of the day...I don't own it on DVD so feel free to give it to meee.

<3
theGrump  

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Hate: Things with butterflies on them.  This includes humans.  I realize it sounds terrible to hate butterflies. I mean, it's a butterfly, it's pretty and helpful in pollination.  But I just hate it.  And, as is true for most of my hates, if you own or are wearing something with a butterfly on it, or GOD FORBID have a butterfly tattoo, I must hate you on principle.  One of these days I'm going to meet someone who collects butterfly things and just involuntarily punch them in the face.

Love: Ridiculously hot showers.  Like scalding.  Painful to any other human kind of hot.

Love,
theGrump

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Makin a Scene

Hate: Bad table manners.  I cannot stand eating with people who have bad table manners.  It is disgusting.  My mom was dinner time nazi and apparently really drilled those rules in though, because I hatee it and everyone that doesn't know a few simple rules.  Chewing with your mouth open, holding your fork wrong, cutting your food wrong.  GOD it's grossing me out thinking about it.  If my first impression of you is bad manners I promise I will hate you forever.  I went backpacking for like 5 weeks with some friends and noticed the first day that one of them didn't know how to hold her utensils or cut food properly.  I didn't want to secretly hate her for the entire time, so I was like, listen up, you are going to learn how to do this RIGHT NOW.  I realize I'm kind of a bitch, I mean look at this blog, but really, you need to get your shit together.  How can someone over the age of like 10 not picked up the right way to eat?  It seems pretty simple...it's eating...yet SO many people are totally unaware.  If you ever eat near me pay attention because I'm not always nice enough to give a lesson rather than hate, generally I just silently hate hate hate until I destroy you.  

Love: Shoes.  They are clearly the best part of any outfit.  I have a stupid number of shoes.

LOOVEEEEE,
theGrump

Friday, September 3, 2010

Trendy Bitches

The past couple days my roommate and I have discovered some amazing thrift stores near out new apartment, so I figured I'd hate those people who don't utilize the amazingness.

Hate: People who spend a lot of money on clothes that are supposed to look like they came from a thrift store.  Go to a thrift store.  It's cheap and fun and has character, unlike the douchebaggy garb you paid a stupid amount of money for at Urban Outfitters.  It's not specifically that store, but it's a good example of what I mean.  It's just...who would EVER pay that much money for something that they could get for 95% less if they just spent a weekend thrifting??  I realize that I may be cheaper than the average human being, but even so, clothing just isn't something you need to spend a lot of money on to look "hip," especially not these days.  It's juuust ridiculous.  I hate you all.

Love: Animals.  I only say this because I'm so sad at my new apartment because I don't have any pets. No animals at all!!  I need to go get a fish or a hamster.  Animals are just all so cute, and even if they aren't cute, it makes them all that much more cute.  They also never do anything on my hate list.  I mean, how amazing is it to be an animal? They literally only have to think about eating, drinking and having sex.  We have to think about all kinds of dumb things.  I realize that humans are animals, so stop being such a smart ass.  I don't get it when people don't like them.  I miss Clancy and Dixie.  Anyway, that's what I love right now.  Animals.

Haha,
theGrump

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Writing Utensils

I've had to sign things and write on official papers and whatnot lately, so I've decided to dedicate this entry to writing utensils.

Hate: Pens.  Writing with pens is the worst.  I don't know what happens in my brain when I put a pen in my hand, but apparently I can't handle it and my handwriting looks ridiculous.  My signature is absolutely stupid because you always have to sign in pen and I just can't do it.  The people who look at it probably think I have some sort of motor disorder.  Also, half of the time I can't even get any ink to come out because I don't write hard enough, so it's a mixture of my brain malfunctioning because I'm holding a pen and me pressing down as hard as I can that make me look like an idiot.  When someone gives me something I have to sign that has the carbon copies below it I get so mad.  Unless I am consciously really trying, I can't get my handwriting to penetrate the first sheet.  I really don't need writing my name to be such an event.  On that note, writing anything does not need to be such an event.  Just give me my...

Love: Mechanical pencils.  These are clearly the superior writing utensil.  You can erase and it fits so nicely in your hand, and you don't have to sharpen it, and if you run out of lead, which never happens anyway, you can just fill 'er up.

Love,
theGrump

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Good Ol' Answering Machine

This is serious.

Hate:  Voicemails.  It is 2010.  Anyone who still leaves voicemails (with a few exceptions) probably doesn't know how to check their own voicemail.  I saw that I missed your call.  It's right there with your name and it says "Missed Call" or something to that effect.  I don't need you to leave me a voicemail telling me you called.  Yep.  Saw it.  Redundant.  I will call you back.  If you're calling and it's very urgent, a voicemail will do nothing.  No one checks their voicemail.  You need to send a text saying CALL ME RIGHT NOW VERY URGENT, or something else of your choosing, because if you leave me a voicemail saying that very same thing I will first ignore it, then be angry that I have a voicemail that I have to delete later when I have the patience to deal with the process.  Even then I probably won't even listen to it, I'll just delete it.  Always text, and if it isn't urgent, just wait until I call you back.  What may be even worse is my parents.  If I don't answer the phone on her first call, my mom will follow it with a slew of texts saying that she has called and the reason and whatever else she might have on her mind.  Although this is a text, it's the same general idea.  Mom, chill out, I'll get back to you.  Worse still is my dad, who will call, leave a voicemail, then continue to call until I have one or two voicemails and 20 missed calls.  I realize I did not answer the phone when you called.  The most likely reason is I am busy or I can't hear my phone.  Either way,  one call would be suffice.  In conclusion, unless you have a SUPERB reason to leave me a voicemail, do. not.  Unless you want to feel the wrath of my hate blog.  In fact, from now on I'm going to have a special little hate for everyone that leaves me a dumb voicemail.

Ok I'm over that.

Love: Cheap things.  I spent more money today then I have in QUITE some time on my new apartment.  Some things were excitingly cheap which makes me happy.  A lot of the time I spend a lot of money on things just because they're cheap, even if I know I'll barely ever use it.  I realize this is a huge waste of money, but I can't help myself, I just love it.  I find that there are few things that I can justify spending a lot of money on.  I'd much rather have cheap things that may not last me forever.  I don't need to be thinking about if this dish drying rack will last me past next week right now.  I just want cheap shit that I can throw out when I'm done living in this apartment because I'm not going to want to move it anyway.  The most exciting purchase of today were some pillows for free.99, even if it was by accident, it was exciting when we realized.

Anddd I'm over this.  Goodnight.

theGrump