Hate: When people eat all but one little bite of something. WHAT are you leaving that stupid bite there for? SO many people do this and there is no way in hell that that many people are truthfully too full to take that one last dumb bite so often. You ate that whole fucking thing, just eat the damn bite. Might I add, it's totally acceptable to leave more than one bite, it's just the one that makes me want to choke you. I KNOW you didn't just get full, either you needed to stop a couple of bites ago or you just need to finish the job and stop being a pussy. And you know I'm worked up when I use the word pussy because I hate it. One incident stands out in my mind. When I was like 9, my girl scout troop was going to Sesame Place (aka the only reason I joined, I quit promptly after). In the car on the way we were eating bagels. Vanessa was sitting next to me and was about to finish her bagel, but as she was about to put the TINIEST last bite into her mouth she was like "I can't finish this" and threw it back into the bag. ...YES YOU CAN YOU JUST ATE THAT WHOLE BAGEL THERE IS NO WAY THAT .05 OUNCE PIECE OF BAGEL IS THE LAST STRAW. So yea, basically I know you can finish it. I hate you.
Love: Barnaby, my mustache monocle. He is the greatest thing in the universe. Nothing is better than him, so you can just give up anything that you think is awesome, because in comparison it sucks.
LOVE,
theGrump
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