You Never Wear Shoes Without Your Socks

Hate: The shows Cheers and Roseanne.  I've never even really watched these shows, I decided that I hated them when I was a tiny ginger.  I'm not sure what's up with Roseanne, I have a serious loathing for no reason, little grumpy ginger just had something against it.  Probably the annoying voice and obesity, but that's just a stab in the dark.  Cheers is another story altogether.  For some reason, I tie Cheers to a specific event that happened in my youth...and trust me, you want to hear about it.  So, I was in kindergarden and we were down in art class.  For some reason, I decided to steal one of the colored pencils we were using.  I remember it clearly, it was like a teal blue color and the outside of the pencil was black and it was really short.  It was very pretty.  So I took the colored pencil, and on the way back up to class Ryan Adeleye told on me.  Mortifying to a 5 year old, apparently since it's burned in my memory.  I had to walk all by myself back down to the art room and return it.  It was the worst.  And for some reason, Cheers reminds me of this event.  NO idea why, but I really can't watch it without thinking of the colored pencil incident.  In conclusion, Cheers is the fucking worst thing EVER.

Love: Perfect dog walking time and weather.  What could be better than a beautiful day with nothing to do but walk your adorable puppy.  It's like the greatest activity on a sunny day.  It's exercise and bonding time for you and your pooch, it's fun, you get some sun, you get to people watch and explore.  Basically nothing in the universe is better.

<3
theGrump

Have You Seen my Baby Girl? She's Lonely

This is going to be REALLY hard because I'm going to fucking ICELANDDDDDDDDD today, but I feel like I need to get in one more hate in for the month of march since ima be gonee.  I'm just going to have to pick a self explanatory one...

Hate: On my list (yes, there is an actual list) it says I have hated on this before, but I'm pretty sure I have not, so here goes.  Brown Tootsie Roll Pops.  Disgusting.  Why are they even an option, they are fucking gross.  I actually hate when the consistency of things is inappropriate for the flavor.  It is not ok for a lollipop to be chocolate flavored, just like it's not ok for creamy (vom @ the word creamy) things to be really fruity.  I'm not sure if anyone else can follow that logic, but I can't help it, it's just the way I think.  It's hard being me...

JUST KIDDING BECAUSE I'M GOING TO ICELAND!!!  Sidenote: just did my last hate when I was just typing in all caps, the ' in I'm was a ", I quickly fixed it.

Love: ICELAND!!!!!!!

Bye.

Defying Gravity

 Hate:  When people are typing in all caps, and hold down the shift when they press for an apostrophe so they actually get a quotation mark.  Example: I"M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE BABYMAKER!  It isn't the right thing.  Just take one second to one, take your finger off the shift key or two, go back and fix it because you know it isn't what you wanted.  As always, I do not care that this is super specific and random.  I don't like people not doing things correctly and you aren't doing it right.  Press caps lock if you can't spare the moment to get the right punctuation

Love: The noises of all apple products.  Like the clicking when you scroll through an ipod, all that crap.  They are great noises, all their time testing that totally paid off because I love everything.  Facebook tried to use a similar noise for facebook chat, but it was just annoying somehow.  Anyway, props to apple (sidenote: I think people need to start giving "props" again).

LOVE,
theGrump

You're Just in Time

This is kind of a specific hate...I'll try to find a way to broaden it a little bit.

Hate: OK so this happens a lot at the juice bar where I work, but since I noticed it there I have noticed it a lot elsewhere.  It's basically just a hatred of people who think they're really special when they are just not.  So in my cafe, it gets fucking crazy around lunch, line for miles.  Anyway, there can only be so many people working, so on occasion people have a wait a little for their food to be done.  I REALLY hate it when people in line are up to pay and their food isn't ready yet and they say, "Ummm, I'm just getting a..."  What do you think everyone else got??  It's not like they ordered something totally different and more complicated than you.  You are not special, you're unoriginal and also a big fat douche.  Thenn, pretty soon after I realized that I hated those people with a huge passion, one time I'm on the bus and this guy gets on and is like, "I only got a dolla, I'm just tryina hitch a ride witchu!!"  It's the fucking public bus...EVERYONE IS JUST TRYING TO HITCH A RIDE WITH HIM!!!  Why else would anyone EVER be on a bus????  GOD everyone is a fucking idiot.

Love: Grocery shopping.  It's so fun and satisfying.  It's especially awesome when there are some free samples around.  I'm not sure why it's so fun...anyone have any insight?  Anyway, it will never be a chore, it is always the best.  The other day I went with my friend and the funniest little asian man made us try every flavor of hummus on the planet, one of which was called "supremely spicy."  My friend commented on it saying, "this is spicy!" to which he replied, "SUPREMELY!!!"

LOVE,
theGrump

Everybody Clap Your Hands

Hate: State Farm commercials.  They are awful.  Terrible.  The worst commercials ever.  I could go on.  In fact I will go on.  Painful and also infuriating to watch.  Ear splitting.  Ok, moving on to a different format. I don't know who is giving the go ahead on this crap, but it needs to stop.  I ESPECIALLY hate the newer ones where the people sing the jingle and the agent pops up.  The ULTIMATE worst one is when the girls do it and keep changing the agent to make him into different kinds of guys like "tough, with a soft side."  Shut up you stupid girls.  Shut up everyone on the State Farm commercials, it annoys me that you suck at singing the jingle.  Shut up State Farm.

Love: Zach Galifianakis.  I know I hate a lot of people, but I love people too!  And not just Will Smith, although he is numero uno.  Anyway, I enjoy Zach Galifinakis because not only is he funny in whatever he is acting in, but he is actually funny in his stand up.  You might think that lots of comedians are funny, but you'd be wrong.  There are a select few, and Zach is one of them, which is appreciated.  He's just such a cute funny teddy bear, not to mention sings the greatest song of all time in The Hangover...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taVblB7-UuY

Goodnight All,
theGrump

Get Down, Stay Down

Everyone is a bitch.  So here I go to write this blog, which has nothing to do with why everyone is a bitch, but will make me feel better anyway.

Hate:  In movies/tv when someone is supposed to be really good at something, be it an instrument or a sport or whatever, and it's so obvious that they suck.  Hello.  I'm not sure how stupid the director think the general public is, but it is SO distracting and...I can think of no other word for it except silly.  I can tell you aren't good so don't try to convince me you are.  It is ruining the ENTIRE premise of the freaking movie.  You can't just suck if they make it a point to say that you do not suck!!  If you're going to make a movie where this person's skill plays at least a sort of important role, they have to look like they know what the hell they're doing.  However, as a general rule, the degree you are allowed to look like you suck has an inverse relationship with the quality of movie.  Ok so I just wrote a whole example with a movie about Quigley, the greatest tuba artist of all time, and how if Quigley didn't know how to play the tuba it would not be ok for the making of the movie, but it was getting a little long and ridiculous.  You should get it by now though.

Love: Shopping.  I never thought I would be such a girl, but sometimes, I just gotta shop til I drop.

TOo tired to go on, falling asleep.  Need 30 Rock.

-theGrump